I sit here writing this blog in pain, my back is at one of the worse stages of spasm's it has been in for quite a while now, I have been getting worse again in recent weeks which is so heartbreaking as it seems like I have a couple of ok weeks then the Dystonia inside my body thinks NO YOU ARE BORN WITH PAIN SO BE IN PAIN!
I can't really think of many times I have not felt pain within a few days, Everytime I go out for the day or even go to the shops I am always in pain my back muscles always start to spasm then the time you get back home all you want to do is get into bed and rest and that is what I do. I really feel sorry for Hollie sometimes as we are only 20 and 21 and she deserves to be treated to nice nights out to the cinema or out for a meal but I really struggle doing things like that. Hol says she is fine without doing things like cinema and meals but I want to do them deep down but I just physically and mentally can not go into a busy restaurant. I feel so down sometimes and really depressed but hol always picks me up and gets a smile back onto my face, she really deserves a medal!
I sometimes google ways to ease the pain or just even to be more comfy but nothing I ever try does anything to ease the pain of Dystonia it is like a devil is inside of you and the more you try and fight it the more it inflicts pain onto your body!
I take a lot of pain killers but I really do not know why as nothing ever eases the pain so you sometimes think what a waste of time. I really do wish I could just live one day without one spasm or neck twitch but deep down I know that is never going to happen no matter how much I pray for it.
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